(Despite the title above and the picture below, there are no spoilers about the Doctor Who season finale in this post.)
Today, Doctor Who’s season finale is airing at eight o’clock, and the wait is killing me. It’s even worse when you consider that I have no life, so I have nothing to do to pass the time except write this post. But the worst thing is, anywhere I go on the internet, I see spoilers for the finale.
Because of stupid time zone differences, everyone in Europe has been able to watch the finale six hours before it airs here, so some of them that I follow on twitter and am friends with on Facebook, feel the need to tell the world as many spoilers about the finale as possible without so much as a warning beforehand.
Why can’t some people put a spoiler warning before writing spoilers via internet?
Why can’t the Earth be flat so it’ll be the same time everywhere?
Why can’t Doctor Who be aired so that those living on the east coast of America can enjoy it at the same time as those in England (which would be 2 PM)? I know it’ll probably mess up the show’s ratings, but I’m selfish, so it doesn’t matter to me.
This post isn’t about Doctor Who though, it’s about:
“Spoilers,” said River Song for the hundredth time.
Spoilers are vicious creatures that feed off the curiosity of innocent people like me. People are naturally drawn to read spoiler-filled reviews and go on forums filled with careless people. I guess it’s because of our instinctive desire to know what happens next as soon as possible.
The worst part about spoilers is that you can never forget what you just read without causing significant brain damage. I wish I could edit the information out of my mind like a silent and enjoy the show without any foreknowledge. But I can’t. I will never not know what happens in the finale. Because I’m nice, I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it.
As it turns out, the Doctor’s name is “Burger King: Have it Your Way,” and then he defeats The Great Intelligence with the power of love. Oh, and Clara ends up being an actor played by Jenna-Louise Coleman, who just kept sneaking onto the Tardis and pretended to be a similar person each time just to mess with him. And any evidence that contradicts that was just the Doctor’s hallucinations and/or deceptive camera work.
Sorry for spoiling the episode for you.