My Five Favorite Villains

Villains are underrated. Everybody seems to want them dead for some reason, despite the fact that they’re a million times cooler than the protagonist.

In celebration of villains, I decided to make a poorly written list of my favorite villains from fiction. If your favorite villain isn’t included, feel free to comment below, and we could have a long, (hopefully) civil debate over whether or not a villain is as cool as you or I say.

5) Pennywise the Dancing Clown (Also known as “IT”)

“Did you hear about the new Coldplay Album?”

I do not like clowns. It is the reason why. This guy is what kept me up at night when I was five years old, after my asshole older brother made me watch the movie.

Ten years later, I’ve rewatched the movie and read the book. The book’s still pretty horrifying, but the movie is just laughable, except for shudders I get whenever Pennywise shows up on screen.

But, while watching the movie the other day, I had an epiphany: It is a nice guy (although It’s actually a girl). In fact, I now find myself routing for him. He’s actually doing a great job at cutting off the stupidity gene. Take one of the very first scenes of the book and movie: A little kid named Georgie loses his boat in a sewer, and when he looks into it, he meets a clown that defines the word creepy hiding in the sewer. Georgie fails to do the smart thing, which would really be any of the following common sense options:

  1. Tell an adult about the sinister clown hiding in your sewer.
  2. Do not converse with said clown.
  3. If the clown appears to know your name, despite the fact that you’ve never seen him before in your life, you should probably refer back to option 1.
  4. If the clown wants you to reach into the sewer to get back your worthless paper boat, you refuse.

Had Pennywise not killed Georgie right there, he would have gone on to have more stupid kids, who in turn would have given birth to even more stupid kids, and then Fahrenheit 451 happens. This is, of course, providing that Georgie doesn’t die from texting and driving or something. (Yes, I know they didn’t have phones back then, but still!)

In addition to being a creepy clown who eats people, It can also transform into anything you’re afraid of. It’s like a boggart, but a billion times more deadly.

4) The Weeping Angels

Dem’ Angels be snaggin dem’ people up

“Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. And don’t blink. Good Luck.”

These lonely beasts are really only just stone statues. You can’t kill a stone, and a stone can’t kill you. That is, until you look away. The moment no one is looking, they stop being stones, instead being unimaginably fast monsters that can kill you in the blink of an eye.

If all they did was kill you, that would just be boring. Instead, the Weeping Angels send you back in time, let you “Live to death.” so they can feed off your time energy. That’s really not a bad way to die, plus it leads to some clever time-travel plots and paradoxes and whatnot. You can always count on an episode with the Weeping Angels to be a good one. These monsters put the Daleks to shame.

(Speaking of Daleks, am I the only one who thinks they are the most overrated monitors in Doctor Who?! Sure they show no other emotion but hate, but that’s no different than the kids in my eighth grade English class. They don’t look threatening. In fact, they look adorable, which is not good. Plus they have a freaking useless plunger as a weapon.)

3) Magneto

Coolest helmet ever..

Unlike all the other villains on this list, Magneto is the only one I actually feel bad for. He was a nice guy who had survived the holocaust, and later saw the same prejudice towards mutants, and decided he would never allow mutants to endure the same persecution that the jews did. So far, he seems like a nice guy.

Of course, he did kill a whole bunch of people, attempted to kill a whole bunch of other people, and became more prejudiced towards non-mutants than they were towards him. But besides that, he was pretty freaking rad.

I think the best type of villain (besides the down-right evil ones) is the one with good intentions, but uses immoral methods to achieve this goal, and that’s who Magneto is.

Plus, he once killed a man by draining all the iron out of the guy’s blood, then compacted the iron into a little ball, and used it to killed everyone within the prison and escaped. That’s pretty cool.

2) Dolores Umbridge

Wait a minute, this isn’t Umbridge!

This woman (not the one in the picture above) is pure evil. She’s worse than the weeping angels and Pennyswise combined. She made Harry write “I must not tell lies,” over and over again, in his own blood, just because he pointed out some of the huge, gaping holes in her logic.

And she does this all while maintaining a cuddly, pink exterior. Had I not known any better, I would have thought by a picture of Umbridge (not the one above) that she was nothing more than my weird, crazy aunt. But she worse than that. Much, much worse than that. I wanted her dead more than Voldemort You-Know-Who.

1) The Joker

He’s terrifying, crazy, unpredictable, and knows how to pull off a purple coat. He was able to mess with the minds of Gotham’s mob, police force, and every single citizen in the city. And he takes the time to put make up on right before he does this.

The Joker in The Dark Knight is easily the best version of the Joker yet. Heath Ledger’s acting was perfect, and it’s even better when you take a look at who Heath Ledger was in real life.

The picture to the left is him. Doesn’t he look like the nicest guy ever? He seems like the type of guy who would like… not kill people for a living.

In addition to being scary and hilarious at the same time, The Joker is also a criminal mastermind. He says he doesn’t have a plan, but we all know he does. No one can just spontaneously rig a hospital with C4; that takes months of sneakiness. Since the moment Batman came to town, The Joker has been taking notes, planning out the events of The Dark Knight.

In the movie, he has no origin story. No one knows where he came from or who he is. Now that’s just creepy.

Honorable Mentions: You-Know-Who, Darth Vader, The Master, Moriarty, Bane, The Man in Black, Tuco and The Terminator (the bad ones).

Advertisements

35 Replies to “My Five Favorite Villains”

  1. I agree (except for It and the Weeping Angels, as I have never seen them in action :))! It helps that Ian McKellan plays Magneto in the originals, and that Michael Fassbender plays him in X-Men:First Class (of course that doesn’t influence my love of the character…of course not.).

    And the Joker never fails to creep me out. Every time I watch The Dark Knight I have to turn on lights everywhere I go in the house, just to be certain that he isn’t lurking in the shadows or waiting to slice my face open. Or something tragic like that.

    1. It and the Weeping Angels are awesome. I think you would like the episode “Blink” of Doctor Who, the first episode where the Weeping Angels are shown. You don’t have to know much about the show to understand it, except it’s about a 900 year old alien who travels around all of time and space in a police telephone box. What’s not to love?

      Ian McKellan was indeed a fantastic Magneto. He was also a really good Gandalf. To be honest I haven’t seen Xmen: First Class (yet) but I heard it was really good.

  2. Yes! This includes all my favorite antagonists, down to the #1, the Joker. Admittedly I haven’t seen ‘It’, nor am I happy that Magneto stole Captain Hook’s place, but for the most part I agree with everything you’ve said. Definitely a fan of the psycologicaly creepy villains, like the Joker and the Weeping Angels.

  3. Oh, and as a side note, my sister hacked into my phone and changed my wallpaper and lock screen to a picture of a weeping angel. Just now.

    1. Also, a few weeks ago I changed my brother’s desktop background to a weeping angel. He just laughed it off. But little did he know, I put the desktop on “Slideshow,” so every twenty seconds or so the picture changed of the same angel, but in a closer position. He almost jumped out of his seat when he went back to the home screen to find the angel had moved.

      1. I replied to this already, but I think my WordPress app is glitching. Anyway, I don’t plan on changing my lock screen back to Calvin and Hobbes. My sister will probably just hack in again and change it to something even more fearsome. The only problem is that no one else knows about my lazy plan. I think I may have scared away some potential acquaintances by turning on my phone in the company of others.

      2. What could possibly be more fearsome than a Weeping Angel? I could definitely see why some people would be scared away by the sight of your phone.

  4. MAGNETO!!! And I’m partial towards the Joker. He’s totally creepy and his logic is psycho (okay, he’s psycho), but he is a seriously good villain. Watery villains suck. Basically.

  5. Frankly, if Nicholson had played in Dark Knight, that would have been about perfect.

    I think Darth Sidious doesn’t get enough credit as a villain. Especially if you look at his back story. He wasn’t formed out of a difficult past, like Vader or Darth Bane. He was from Naboo, in the Youth Statesmanship Program. And then he met Damask…and eventually, he destroys the Jedi, Alderaan, Caamas (for all intents and purposes) etc.

    I bet you’d like Darth Bane. There’s a trilogy of books about him, if I remember correctly.

    Moriarty is incredibly overrated. He was actually only in one story (the one in which Doyle had intended to kill Holmes off, so he could move on to other things)

    As far as Batman goes, I’ve always liked Scarecrow. Psychological terrorists are always great. The movies didn’t do him justice.

    1. What?! Heath Ledger is a way better Joker than Nicholson! I may be biased, of course, since I’ve never actually watched any Batman movie other than Nolan’s trilogy, but I can’t imagine someone playing a better Joker than Ledger.

      I agree with you in how Darth Sidious was completely underrated. I love how well he manipulates Anakin into joining the dark side. But I never read any Star Wars related books, so I don’t know much about him than what’s given in the movies,

      And any villain with Bane in his name is great, so I’ll probably check out that trilogy someday.

      The reason why most people love Moriarty is because he was made into a major villain in the first two series of BBC’s Sherlock. And he was awesome. It’s weird to think he’s only in one story.

      1. Darth Bane was the Sith Lord who devised the Rule of Two. That’s the main significance of the character.

        Another thing. Read Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy. (Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command) They have some issues with backstory (Zahn interpreted the Clone Wars all wrong.) but they’re fantastic reads.

    2. And Scarecrow was great, though I personally didn’t like him as much as the Joker or Bane. But when it comes down to my favorite superhero villains of all time, he’s probably in my top five.

      1. Jack Nicholson’s Joker was great. He brought a childish glee to the character that I missed in the Dark Knight.

        Can we at least agree that Cesar Romero was the worst Joker?

  6. *shudders* The Joker gives me nightmares…He’s so creepy that he makes the perfect terrifying villain.

    And clowns scare the crap out of me. I hate them.

    1. If clowns in general scare you, you should probably avoid reading Stephen King’s “It.” Some of the things that Pennywise does is just traumatizing, even to someone who likes clowns.

  7. The weeping angels definitely horrifying. You may not know who I’m talking about, but in Avatar: the Last Airbender (NOT THE BLUE PPL) the antagonists (Azula and Ozai) are terrifying, motivated, and you can feel bad for them. That’s what makes an AWESOME villain in my book ! 🙂

    1. I used to love Avatar: The Last Avatar, but I haven’t watched the show in years, so I don’t remember much about it. Was Azula Zuko’s extremely evil sister? She was awesome. If I hadn’t forgotten about her, she might have been included in my list.

      1. Yes she was! And speaking of Zuko, he was a FANTASTIC antagonist also. I think I may just do a blog post about my undying obsessive love for ATLA’s bad guys. Though it’s not exactly related to books so… Oh well! Haha
        What’s your opinion on antagonist as self?

      2. What do you mean? As in the main character being an antagonist?

        I liked Zuko, although I thought it was pretty predictable that he’d end up switching to Aang’s side about halfway through Book 2. (I thought the second book/season was where the show started to get really good.)

      3. No,no I mean like the antagonist being the protagonist… Like in contemporary novels when the main character might be working against herself an theres no MAIN villian. Does that make any sense? Lol;)
        And yes, I totally agree!! Book 1 was almost cheesy, but book 2/3 are the most epic ever.

      4. It makes perfect sense, actually. Some of my favorite books are like this.

        Books 2 and 3 are definitely epic. Especially that four-part finale, which was one of the best finales of anything I’ve ever seen.

      5. YESSSS! (Other than the fact that my OTP wasn’t canon in the end and my least favorite pairing got together-.-) but it was really amazing. the creators are geniuses!

      6. Kataang (Katara and Aang) Maiko (Mai and Zuko), and Suki and Sokka. I don’t think they have an official ship name. Toph is forever alone.
        My pairings were Zutara (Zuko and Katara) and Toph and Sokka. Like, so completely perfect. Aang’s the avatar he can be alone!! Haha.

      7. I think I remember Mai, but who was Suki again? And poor Toph.

        Not to brag or anything, but I predicted Aang and Katara would be a couple by the first episode. Although Zatarra would be pretty cool.

  8. The Joker is an EXCELLENT villain! Other than Umbridge and him, I don’t really know the villains on this list. Some others I like are the Malfoys/Bellatrix/Snape/Voldy, Gollum, Denethor, and SOLOVET I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING.

    1. I completely forgot about Solovet (and President Coin, since they’re basically the same person). I should include her in my Honorable Mentions list.

      Would Snape be considered a villain? Sure, he was pretty antagonistic towards Harry, and then he killed Dumbledore to death, which was not cool, but his heart was in the right place.

      Did you ever read any of Stephen King’s books yet? I remember you wrote a post about that a few months ago.

Feel free to leave a comment below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s