Game of Thrones: The Lion and the Rose Review

(Click here for my review of “Two Swords.”)

Caution: Extreme Spoilers, but only for this episode and the episodes before it. Anything that happens afterwards in the books will not be mentioned.

What this episode should’ve been called: Finally!

I’m so glad Joffrey just kicked it, not only because he’s perhaps the most hateable villain I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching, but because now I can talk openly about his death. And man, what a satisfying death that was.

I mean, did you see his face? Blood was pouring out of just about every orifice, and I like to think he was in extreme pain, yet somehow in all this, Joffrey still managed to find a way to mess with Tyrion. By blaming him for his death. Which is a bit ridiculous because if anything, Tyrion should be rewarded for killing Draco Malfoy’s cousin.

I’m not sure if it’s a spoiler to say whether or not Tyrion is innocent, because for all I know some TV-viewers think he is, but I’m just going to say it: he didn’t kill him.* Tyrion isn’t dumb enough to poison Joffrey when he knew he’d be the number one suspect. Of course, he’s still going to be blamed for it, and that sucks. But surely they won’t kill off such a major character, right?

Also, Tyrion ends his “friendship” with Shae, in a scene that could’ve been heartbreaking had Shae been a convincing actress. Don’t give me those dirty looks; I didn’t buy into her tears for a second. Also, Shae: stop being so oblivious to how dangerous those pesky Lannisters are. It’s like you want to die.Meanwhile, the few minutes we actually got with Bran were actually somewhat interesting, but perhaps that’s just because I haven’t reached that part in the books. Were one of those visions (with the empty throne room) the same Daenerys saw in The House of the Undying? And does this mean Bran will finally figure out that the extremely close Lannister twins pushed him off that castle? (Though it’s not like he could do anything about it at this point.) Anyway, I just hope the best for Bran, but more importantly, I hope the best for Hodor.

“Hodor.”

Meanwhile, Melisandre gets an interesting scene with Stannis’s daughter, where she says, “There’s only one hell. The one we live in now,” which is a bit disappointing, because Joffrey better not be going to heaven.

I feel bad for Theon. (Show Theon, at least.) Being tortured for long periods of time is hardly fun, and it’s even less fun for those who have to sit through it every few episodes. Do we really need to keep seeing Ramsay do horrible things? We get the point. He’s evil. Let’s move on now. In fact, I seriously think season 3 would have been better off if Theon’s only appearance was in Mhysa (last season’s finale). It could’ve been a major shock to the audience, who’d be thinking, “Oh, so that’s what Theon’s been up to this whole time,” and not, “What body part is he going to lose now?”

Drawn out torture being implied>Drawn out torture being shown. I believe that was one of Pixar’s twenty-two storytelling tips.

That being said, I can’t wait to see where Theon’s storyline goes from this point on, because I’ve been told his chapters in A Dance with Dragons were some of the best in the series.

Other notes:

  • I like how this episode had Joffrey pulling countless amounts of obnoxious stunts, varying from the dwarrs reenacting the War of the Five Kings to him slicing up Tyrion and Sansa’s wedding gift. I knew about fifty kids in middle school who are just like him.
  • I’m a little upset they didn’t bring up an important revelation made in the books about Joffrey that would make everyone hate him even more. Book readers will know what I’m talking about.
  • Foreshadowing, foreshadowing everywhere! Particularly in the music. First, The Rains of Castamere was played, and then afterwards we heard the same happy music that played right before everyone you loved died at the Red Wedding.
  • Fun fact: the kid who plays Tommen is also the same kid who played one of the Lannister brothers in season 3; he was murdered by Karstark’s men. Also, Tommen is noticeably much less annoying than his older brother, so I think it’s safe to say he’d make a much better king.

Rating: “Out of ten? Eleven.”—The Doctor.

*Which is a shame, because if I could’ve chosen how Joffrey would die, I would’ve had Arya and Sansa take turns stabbing him while Tyrion held him down. But oh well, you can’t always get what you want. I’m a very sadistic person.

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10 Replies to “Game of Thrones: The Lion and the Rose Review”

  1. Joffrey – worst character ever! So overjoyed he’s been poisoned while being a little prick! Apparently in real life there were many kings as mad as him where audiences had to laugh along with bad jokes. If you didn’t, you’d lose your life. So much FEAR! As for his poisoned pallor and the death scene – loved it, particularly his bloody eyes and pained expression. He, he, he!

    1. Who didn’t hate Joffrey? Although, admittedly, he did become entertaining, in a twisted sort of way. Have you read the books? If not, who do you think killed him?

      1. Nope. Usually I have read the books etc… but in this case the Game of Thrones only came to my attention when someone talked me into watching an episode and from then on I’ve been hooked. As to who killed him? Um…In murder stories it may be the person closest to a character who kills them. So perhaps the former Queen – his mother. Sure she loved him but recognised his constant refusal to take her advice and his growing insanity, although I’m not sure if the title reverts to her with him dead. The only other suspects would be his new wife or his grandfather. Sansa is too good and so is Tyrion but both the former Queen and Joffrey’s grandfather wouldn’t care less if Tyrion was blamed. He is a problem they’ve longed to be rid of. Who do you think poisoned him?

        I am intrigued by Bran and hope to see more of him. Hopefully they’ll get somewhere soon.

      2. I’ve already read the books, so I don’t want to spoil it for you. I was just interested to see what those who haven’t read the books thought. Although I will say this: Now that Joffrey’s dead, his younger brother Tommen will take his place, so Cercei would stay as Queen Regent.

        I’ve never been a big fan of Bran’s storyline, but I do think his segments have gotten a lot more interesting ever since the Red Wedding episode. I think Bran will probably end up being one of the most important characters in the series.

  2. That was a wonderful episode – or at least the wedding scenes were. Haven’t seen the rest, I was mostly interested in Joffrey’s demise. 😛

    *****SPOILER WARNING********

    I think it was Olenna. In the books, isn’t it hinted that she did it? She was messing with Sansa’s necklace and one of the parts is missing when she leaves. Maybe there was poison inside.
    …god, have I mentioned how much I love the Tyrells?

    1. Didn’t Littlefinger tell Sansa Olenna was behind it? Of course, he could’ve been lying; I certainly wouldn’t put that past him. Personally, I hope the killer was Bran.

      The Tyrells are perhaps my favorite house besides the Starks. I wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up winning the Game of Thrones.

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