Game of Thrones: Oathkeeper Review

Caution: Spoilers for every GoT episode up till this point. But no spoilers for anything that will happen later in the books.

Game of Thrones has always been dark and depressing, but never too much for me to handle. When Ned’s head got chopped off, I thought, “No biggie.” When Talisa Stark got stabbed in the uterus a bunch of times, I gritted my teeth but carried on, and when those guys at Craster’s keep were drinking from Mormont’s skull (which had weirdly perfect teeth, I might add), I wasn’t bothered at all.

BUT THEY CROSSED THE LINE WITH WHAT THEY DID TO HODOR!

Hodor is easily the kindest and noblest man in this entire series. When it comes to honor, Ned Stark and Davos Seaworth don’t hold a candle compared to him. Taunting and stabbing Hodor with a spear is just as terrible as sacrificing an innocent baby to the White Walkers. Which the show also did.

*headdesks*

Anywho, I don’t think Game of Thrones is nearly as depressing as people make it out to be. The only moment when I felt it was too dark to keep watching/reading, was during the Red Wedding, when it felt like all the good guys have either died or were stuck in hopeless situations. But what I like about this show is that whenever there’s a good moment, it is truly satisfying, because the characters (and the viewers) had to go through hell to get that one moment of happiness. So when Joffrey died an extremely painful death at his own wedding, or when Arya got to stab Polliver while repeating his past words to him, it made me happier than any Doctor Who episode could, which is a little disturbing if you think about it.

Also, I’d like to apologize for when I accidentally spoiled something in my last review. I read way too much into that Littlefinger/Sansa scene, and accidentally spoiled the necklace twist. And by the way Petyr pointed the necklace out, it’s clear that that was meant to be a big surprise. Not only am I sorry about that, but I’m a disappointed in myself for becoming the very thing I hate: that obnoxious book reader who spoils things for the show watchers. I promise I’ll never spoil anything again—

BRIENNE AND DAENERYS FALL IN LOVE!*

Sorry, I did it again. I am just out of control, aren’t I?

But hey, at least I didn’t spoil the whole “The Queen of Thorns was the killer” reveal. (God, I hope I didn’t read too much into that scene as well.) I thought it was impossible to like the Tyrells even more, but gosh darn-it, it looks like I have. This also lead to Margaery sneaking into Tommen’s bedroom in a scene that would be a hundred times more creepy if the genders were reversed. (#doublestandard) Still, well done, Margaery, and good luck getting back to sleep, Tommen.

In other news, Dany conquers Meereen within five minutes into the episode. Personally, I’m surprised the scene didn’t come with a staples’ easy button. But I did enjoy her decision to crucify one hundred and sixty-three masters, not because I agree with it, but moral ambiguity is the best.

Meanwhile, Bran and Co. get captured by those jerks at Craster’s Keep, which gives me mixed feelings. On one hand, poor Hodor, but on the other hand, the potential for a Stark reunion is suddenly very high. But on the third hand, I can’t imagine a situation where Meera isn’t raped, and I really don’t want that to happen, and on the fourth hand, Bran’s storyline is finally getting interesting.

(Notice how I keep saying that Bran’s storyline is finally getting interesting, despite the fact that I’ve been saying that since the second half of season 3.)

I think my favorite part of the episode was Pod’s face (see below), along with the fact that he and Brienne will be having a bunch of wacky adventures. I hope they meet up with Arya and the Hound, and start their own mystery-solving gang.

  • Ser Pounce made an appearance! I was so happy when that adorable cat showed up, since I thought for sure the show would cut him out of the story. You know how I said Hodor was the most noble character in the whole series? I lied. Ser Pounce is.
  • Speaking of Ser Pounce, “He [Joffrey] threatened to skin him alive and mix his innards up in my food so I wouldn’t know I was eating him.” That is such a Joffrey thing to do.
  • That guy who cut off Jaime’s hand is now traveling along with Snow. Combine that with the White Walkers, the freezing cold, the fact that Bran’s captured and Owen Harper’s evil, identical twin leading the mutineers, so many things could go wrong with this plan.
  • That final scene was certainly… interesting. Also, that was the most adorable white walker we’ve seen so far.

Final Rating: 0/10, for what they did to Hodor. (Don’t take my ratings seriously.)

*No, this hasn’t actually happened in the books. Yet. *crosses fingers*

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