I Have to Make a Bold Statement

There comes a time in every person’s life in which they discover an incontrovertible truth; one which they know will cause controversy but must be said anyway. I have found this truth.

Perhaps this is only a biased truth, one that applies to me but not to everyone, but it is still my belief that what I say is true, and I can’t contain my feelings anymore. I’m like a tiny container, filled with water and a recently dropped Alka-Seltzer tablet (google that). I must release the lid, so to speak, before the pressure becomes too much.

I understand that I will be judged for what I am about to say. I might lose some of my followers (perhaps all of them) after this, and I guess I’d understand why. This statement is more controversial than both the Lost and How I Met Your Mother finales combined. But I hope you will all come to understand, and perhaps some of you will even agree with me one day. Either way, I hope you will not look down on me for saying this.

Pepsi is waaaaaayyyyyyy better than Coca-Cola.

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35 Replies to “I Have to Make a Bold Statement”

  1. They did a scientific test to see why The Pepsi Challenge seemed to beat out Coke every time. Turns out people are biased towards the sweeter of two choices if they only get one sip. Coke actually tastes better as you work your way through the can. It has staying power where Pepsi seems kind of bland by the time you’re tipping the aluminum back and trying not to cut your lips on the pull tab.

    http://www.refresher.com/!resblink.html

    Luckily, I prefer toddy coffee with coconut palm sugar. It so rocks.

      1. Good plan, but very un-American. We usually don’t stop chewing until we see crumbs at the bottom of the bag. Doritos Family Size = serves 1.

    1. I agree. Whenever anyone says “oh, they taste so different” I’m like, “no, no they don’t. what soda are you drinking?” I prefer Coke, but I don’t really care which one I drink unless given the choice.

      1. Yeah, I never understood that either. Out of all the different types of soda, Coke and Pepsi are easily the most similar.

        (Cough cough but Pepsi’s better)

    1. That’s just the government, messing with your mind. One day you’ll realize the true superiority of Pepsi, but until then I wish you the best of luck.

      (Unfortunately I can’t say I’ve had Thums up before.)

    1. The difference is simple: Coca-Cola is made of Orc blood and orphan tears while Pepsi is mostly made of love and high fives. Though grape soda is my personal favorite. (Orange Fanta’s great too.)

      I think the reason the guy next to him is giving him a funny look is because he forgot to take the cap off. That is the only reason why.

    2. Also, (and I completely forgot about this), you know those guest posts I award to the author of the ____th comment? Well, you wrote the 2,000th comment. Well, technically, 2,002th, but I wrote the last bunch of comments before you, so congratulations! If you want to do it, that is.

    3. Oh! Thanks! Um… I’m not sure yet if I’ll have time to write a guest post or not, so could I get back to you about that tomorrow or the day after? ‘Cause if not then I’d accept a promo. 😛 Or promo the Good-Sinful Alliance, maybe…

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