Snowboarding is Hard

A picture of me. from mogultheory.com

The other day I went snowboarding for the first time in my life, unless you count the tiny hill in my backyard (which I totally mastered). After six hours on the appropriately named “Mt. Snow,” I figured out one thing: snowboarding is hard.

This didn’t come as much of a shock to me. After all, I’ve been told by lots of people that snowboarding isn’t easy to master, and I took their words with a grain of salt. Though in hindsight, I probably should have taken their words with two grains of salt, because it was even harder than I thought it would be.

For one thing, I fell at least twenty times during the beginner lessons and at least seventy times when I went down the hills. It wasn’t necessarily the falling that sucked, it was the getting back up that got me frustrated. Getting back up on a snowboard is like standing back up without using your hands–it’s definitely possible, but a lot harder to do after a couple thousand or so times.

Another picture of me snowboarding. Awesome, right?

I also suck at stopping. Every time I tried to stop, I end up catching an edge and falling. Although to be honest, falling isn’t painful at all. Maybe it’s because of the adrenaline causing me to not notice the pain or something, but I had only felt pain once during the whole trip, when I caught an edge and fell head-first onto the ice. I would at the very least have gotten a concussion if it wasn’t for my handy-dandy helmet (helmets do save lives, kids!).

Did I mention that there was this amazing Waffle place called “The Waffle Cabin?” I could have sworn I saw this place on the travel channel. The waffles (topped with melted chocolate) were the best damn waffles I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve had a helluva lot of waffles. These waffles completed my life.

from http://funkyfoodfortune.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/rondeaus/

There were a bunch of really cool people there, too. There was one bad-ass seven-year old snowboarder who was a million times better than me (way to help my self-esteem, kid) and a french guy whose name was Adrian, or at least a name similar to Adrian (his accent was as thick as the chocolate on those waffles I mentioned earlier).

Even though I’m extremely sore and horrible at it, I still can’t wait to go snowboarding again. Mostly for the waffles. And since I’ve had a full day of experience, I’m now certified to give newbies advice for their first day of snowboarding:

  • Don’t have friends who would lie about the difficulty of a slope just to see you fall. Those are the type of friends that’ll get you killed. Stay away from them.
  • Wristguards are your guardian angels. Make sure they’re with you at all times.
  • Bring extra socks.
  • Don’t listen to your mother when she tells you to put on fifty plus layers of clothing. If you do, you’ll either suffocate to death or drown in your sweat.
  • Stay away from the yellow snow.
  • Make sure there’s a Waffle Cabin nearby.

The Reader Appreciation Award.

Just recently, The Sunshine Blogger nominated me for my first ever award. I didn’t even bribe her or anything, which just makes the award that much more sincere. So to the Sunshine Blogger: I thank you for nominating me. And Gwendolyn is an awesome name.

The Reader Appreciation Award Rules:

1. Link back to the person who nominated you.

2. Attach the icon to your site. 

3. Answer the attached questions.

4. Nominate 6 bloggers who you feel deserve this award. 

The Q&A:

1. What is your favorite color?

Seven

2. What is your favorite animal?

Dogs, then clownfish (Nemo!).

3. What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink?

Yoohoo. I once wrote a poem about Yoohoo, where I drank it and then it raped me. I was so horrified by what I just wrote that I threw the page into the fire and went to see a psychologist.

4. What is your favorite number?

42.

5. What is your favorite day of the week?

Fridays. Every great moment in my life seems to happen on Friday nights. I’m not sure why.

6. What is your favorite flower?

The Venus Flytrap.

7. What is your passion?

Writing. Reading. Sleeping. Eating. Snowboarding (kind of).

8. Do you watch television?

I mostly watch Doctor Who and The Walking Dead on Netflix. The only shows I watch on the actual TV are How I Met Your Mother and Modern Family.

9. Who is your favorite author?

I’m stuck between John Green and Stephen King. In the end, I think I’ll pick John Green, as John Green also has an awesome vlogbrother’s channel which is awesome. He also donates to a lot of charities and started a thing called, “Positive Pranking.

10. Do you like 80′s movies?

Only some of them, such as Die Hard, Forest Gump and Ferris Bueller’s Day off.

11. How do you like your eggs?

I agree with Gwendolyn: Really hard or scrambled.

12. When did you discover blogging?

A few weeks ago. And I regret having never done it before.

13. Why do you like to blog?

Because I enjoy talking and getting to know people living hundreds or thousands of miles away from me. And it’s fun.

Five Things About Me:

  1. I went snowboarding the other day for the first time. You can expect a post from me about that tomorrow.
  2. I like to write positive and inspirational quotes on bathroom stalls.
  3. I’m seven episodes into Doctor Who right now. And I’m not sure how I feel about the show. The effects are cheesy and the villains have never been menacing at all, but the Doctor is awesome and Rose is hot, so I’m okay with that.
  4. I love the soundtrack to the Dark Knight, and I will never shut up about it until someone agrees with me that it’s awesome. Especially listen to the last minute of the video. With Beats. And the volume on high. With your eyes close as to enhance your other senses.
  5. I read Yahoo articles entirely for the comments.

Passing the award on to the following bloggers: (I’m only going to do three, if that’s okay for now.)

  1. Liam, Head Phil. His blog is awesome, and he was also kind enough to let me write a guest post.
  2. Nevillegirl: I’m definitely reading The Underland Chronicles because of her. (I was going to read it before, but now I’m moving the books up on my list of books to read.)
  3. Bouts of Lunacy: Although we don’t know each other that much, we do like the smell of books.

If anyone nominated doesn’t want to participate, you don’t have to. Many people may find blog awards annoying. (Though I bet they secretly love it.)

Why my Public Library Hates Me

photo credit: http://librarycartoons.wordpress.com/

I used to go to the library weekly as a kid, back when I used to read for the sole purpose of being known as the ‘smart’ kid. Oh, how I hate my seven-year old self. If I could send a letter back in time to myself seven years ago, it would probably go like this:

Dear Matthew,
Go outside.

I still have trouble following that advice.

Anyway, back then, my town’s local library loved me. I always turned books in on time. I rarely lost them and I rarely damaged them at all. I was a good kid. But about a year ago, everything changed.

I had decided to loan The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien, not knowing that those two books would cause me to become ‘Undesirable #1’ amongst the librarians.

I started off reading The Hobbit, and about two chapters in, the book apparently decided, “Let’s play a game of hide-and-seek,” and then hid in another universe where it’ll never be found again. I was upset, but a week later I decided to skip the prequel and start reading The Fellowship of the Ring. That was when I made the costly mistake of bringing the book into school.

Just in case you didn’t know, public middle school is the very worst place to bring a book. I somehow hadn’t realized that before it was too late. I had left to go to the bathroom and when I came back, someone had decided to write, “RAPE” all across the cover and over several of the pages, (WHY!?!?!?) ruining any chance I had at being able to return the book.

So I had lost one book and had vandalized the other. I didn’t want to go back to the library because I was afraid they’d yell at me and beat me up and stab me. Looking back, I probably could have just paid for the same two books and replaced them, but thirteen year old me was kind of an idiot. Fourteen year old me, however, is a genius.

Now,  wherever I go, I always have to watch my back for librarians sneaking up behind me. I avoid the public library at all costs and have been forced to use my school library, which seems to be devoid of any interesting book written in the last decade.

Moral of this post:  Don’t lose library books. And librarians are scary.

Top 10 Books I Plan to Read in 2013

Most people would make resolutions to focus more on schoolwork or their health or something. Not me. I make lists of the top ten books I want to read this year. Because books are awesome. Disagree? I’m okay with that. Now onto the list.

Quick note: I’m considering book series as a single book.

10) “City of Bones,” by Cassandra Clare. I know next to nothing about this book, except for the fact that it features a city made of bones, presumably. It also centers around a girl who can see things other people can’t. And I believe it’s the first book in a series of some sort. Also, considering that it’s a YA book, at least one of her parents probably died.

from wikipedia

9) “I am the Messenger,” by Markus Zusak. I don’t think I’d ever be interested in this book if it wasn’t for “The Book Thief,” which is my favorite book of all time. It was my Summer Reading Assignment for Ninth Grade honors, and considering that the book was assigned for school, I was expecting an incredibly boring book about boring people doing boring things. Then I actually read it. The whole time I was surprised by how freaking awesome the book was all the way up til the ending when I almost drowned in my own tears (which totally sucks, because the tears ruin the pages of the book. Then when you hand the book back to your English teacher, they always give you a dirty look and just roll their eyes when you try to explain what happened).

wikipedia

8) “The Underland Chronicles,” by Suzanne Collins. I know it’s a children’s series, but it was written by the same person who wrote the Hunger Games trilogy, and I loved the Hunger games trilogy. Even Mockingjay, which everyone else seems to bash on. From what I’ve read in the free sample amazon gives you, the book seems interesting. Besides the fact that Gregor’s dad had mysteriously disappeared a few years before (I’ll bet my hat his dad comes back later on in the story), everything in the book seems original.

wikipedia

7) “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” by Douglas Adams. I’ve heard enough about this book to figure out that the meaning of the life, the universe and everything in it is 42. How? That’s why I’m reading this: to find out. This is also my way of connecting with my nerdy science teacher who continually has to explain his jokes to the class when he references this book.

6) “The Last Guardian,” by Eoin Colfer. I still haven’t finished the Artemis Fowl series yet, and I am ashamed. Feel free to chain me up in the village square and throw stones at me. The fact is, I found the seventh book, “The Atlantis Complex,” to be incredibly disappointing compared to the rest of the books. I still want to read this book, though, mainly because I’m wondering what happened to Minerva, because in the last two books, it was as if she never existed. It’s a shame, since I’m a total supporter of Minertemis.

wikipedia

5) “The Catcher in the Rye,” by J.D. Salinger. There’s something intriguing about a book that has started so much controversy yet has gained so many loving fans. Plus, the f-word is supposedly used a lot, so that should be fun to read.

wikipedia

4) “The Boy who Dared,” by Suzan Campbell Bartoletti. I love historical fiction. I’ll admit it; I’m a historical fiction slut, especially ones taking place during World War 2. After all, WWII is the most interesting time period of mankind! (Take that, stupid 90’s kids!)

3) “War and Peace,” by Leo Tolstoy. I’m reading this book just so I can say, “I read War and Peace.” This is the book many people refer to as, “That giant f**king book that smart people read,” and I would very much enjoy to be one of those ‘smart people.’ Plus if the book turns out to suck, I could just chuck it at the window of my former science teacher’s car. While she’s driving it. Also, Charlie Brown read this book, so that’s pretty cool.

2) “The Dark Tower Series,” by Stephen King. I first starting reading King when I was eleven after coming across the uncut version of “The Stand,” in my dad’s room (Note: not the best book for an eleven year old). Although I was horrified at parts, I still wanted to read more of his work, and eight or nine of his books later, my next stop is this series. I would have started reading the books already, but for some reason, EVERY SINGLE STORE/LIBRARY WITHIN TWENTY MILES of my house seems to be missing the first book in the series, “The Gunslinger.”

from goodreads.com

1) “Divergent,” by Veronica Roth. This book is supposedly like the next Hunger Games, with a dystopian society and a female narrator who tells the story in present tense. I’m actually thinking about blogging the series like Dan Bergstein’s Blogging Twilight. If anyone wants that, vote in the poll below.

Any suggestions for new books?

Thanks for Stopping by, Winter. Now Can You Go Now?

Each summer of each year, I find myself longing for winter to come. In my defense, nothing seems better when you’re being eaten alive by bugs in August’s 100 plus degree weather. Then, each year, winter returns, reminding me of how stupid I was just a few months ago.

Winter, at least in New York, is basically a three-to-five month dead period in which it’s too cold to do anything fun outside. All the plants are dead, all the trees look dead, and all the adorable chipmunks are nowhere to be found. The outside world is almost completely devoid of life. I always forget about that during the Summer for some reason.

And for some reason, I always forget that snow is cold. It’s like, below freezing temperature! Although snow tastes good (so much better than tap water, for some reason), I dislike it due to the fact that getting hit in the face with a snowball is an incredibly painful experience, and I’ve been through a lot of painful experiences. The top 3 is:

  1. That time when I was asked if I wanted to join the “Pen 15” club in seventh grade. I didn’t get the joke until it was too late and suffered from a painful humiliation that still haunts me to this day.
  2. That time I poured cereal into the bowl before checking to make sure there was milk in the fridge. There wasn’t.
  3. Getting a concussion and two broken ribs in a car crash when I was eight.

Getting hit with a snowball would probably be listed somewhere between two and three. Snowballs are basically bombs made out of compacted ice thrown full-force at your face that explode on impact. I wouldn’t wish snowballs on my enemies! Except maybe Dolores Umbridge.

I use a lot of pictures from 9GAG

There’s nothing to do in the winter but watch TV and mindlessly roam the internet. That’s one of the reasons why I’m writing this to begin with. Snowball fights stop  being fun once you get hit in the face (I believe I’ve made my point on this fact earlier), sledding gets repetitive after thirty minutes, and snowboarding/skiing cost hundreds of dollars along with a 99.9% mortality rate, which really just makes me wonder why anyone skis to begin with. [Note: the accuracy of certain statistics on this blog may be exaggerated just a little bit. In my defense, it’s more fun to make up stuff than to research them.]

Old Man Winter is sort of like that one friend which I assume everyone has that is only fun to hang out with for an hour or so. Then you get bored with him/her (let’s call him a he to save time), and try to give subtle hints that you want him to go. Yet he simply does not get the message, and ends up hanging out with you long past his welcome and you start to wonder why you even invited him over to begin with.

I believe I’ve complained about Winter for long enough. This was my second ever post on WordPress, and so far I’m happy with the way my blog’s turning out. Thanks to everyone who liked or subscribed to my first post!

Oh, and most adults hate winter. Most likely due to heating and electricity bills and having to drive to work in snow. I feel like I should have mentioned that.

About this Blog

(This post will probably be put on the about page, but since I’m not entirely sure how that works, I’m writing it as a post).

About me:

My name is Matthew Black. I am not only secretly a ninja but I’m also secretly awesome and am a master at shooting rubber bands, (I once hit a water bottle from fifty feet away with a rubber band, no joke). I’m a teen writer who’s starting this blog mostly to improve my writing abilities, and to meet a couple interesting bloggers along the way.

About my blog: According to several articles I’ve read, the best way to get a large amount of subscribers is to mostly post on a certain topic. I’ll try to do that, but I’ll probably fail miserably, mainly because there’s so many things to blog about. But I’ll probably post about such things as:

  • The Dark Knight Trilogy
  • Stephen King
  • The Meaning of life
  • My favorite TV shows
  • Book reviews
  • Possibly blogging books like Dan Bergstein’s “Blogging Twilight.
  • Writing and stuff
  • Sunshine and lollipops
  • Problems with society (losing the remote, paper cuts, Michael Bay, etc)

A Few things to take note of:

  • Feel free to give me pity likes, where you feel so bad for me and my poorly written blog that you feel the urge to like my posts so I feel better about myself. I’m totally fine with you doing that.
  • Some people may be offended by foul language. I’m not. You’re allowed to curse in the comment section (I won’t censor you), just don’t curse just for the sake cursing. It gets annoying when you see a comment like, “You %^&* piece of ^**& and *^*&^*# plus &*&^*& and @!*#!” Speaking of annoying comments,
  • Type like a literate human being. Typing like this will give me a migraine.
  • I don’t like getting migraines.
  • Don’t ignore my site based on the fact that I’m a teenager. You won’t believe how many people on the internet will refuse to listen to someone’s opinion just because that someone is younger than them. Judge me on the quality of my posts, not my age.
  • My blog title and theme will probably change a lot, because I like the feel of change. It’s changed three times today.
  • Where can you find the word count on posts? Help a brother out!