I am occasionally a very sarcastic person, making random, unnecessary comments towards people with the ferocity of a particularly angry kitten. While this has its perks — it’s given me a bunch of wonderfully like-minded readers — it does have its downsides. For example, some people will read my sarcastic comments and think I’m being genuine. Or people will read my genuine statements and think I’m being sarcastic. You can see how this could be an issue, right?
For example, take something I said in a forum a few months ago: “Treating women as human beings? That’s crazy!”
Now imagine if someone had read that, without knowing much about me at all. “Wow,” they’d say. “Matt doesn’t think women should be treated like people? Well it looks like he’s just shown his true colors.” Then said person would unfollow me, and start an online petition demanding I delete my blog and jump off a bridge. Because this is the internet, millions of people would sign that petition without even bothering to fact check, and the next thing you know I’d be plummeting off the nearest bridge, wondering how it all went wrong.
So to avoid that situation, I’ve thought of a game designed to test and improve your sarcasm detectors, particularly when it comes to me. Below are a list of sentences from past blog posts taken completely out of context, and in the comments below you’ll have to decide whether it’s sarcastic or genuine. Winner gets a shoutout in the next post, along with a high-five and bragging rights. S/he also gets the title of “Head Engine.” (It’s like a head minion, but not quite as good for the environment.)
So just to make sure we’re clear, this is how you’d answer them in the comments. Each statement will be numbered:
- “The best feeling ever is when you tell a joke to a group of people, and none of them laugh.”
Your comment would be something like, “1: sarcastic.” Perhaps you can include an explanation to why you think it’s sarcastic, but I wouldn’t take points off if you didn’t.
So: let’s begin.
- “I felt really bad about it, too.”
- “I love it when it rains outside.”
- “Things would be so much happier there if they all just, like, chilled out, y’know?”
- “But we also got a tiny tardis, so all its flaws are forgiven.”
- “I was like Employee of the Month material, right then and there.”
- “This is a tough one.”
- “Everyone there was friendly and likeable.”
- “Thanks for the pep talk, Dad.”
- “I expect a birthday cake from each of you.”
- “I don’t usually condone murder, but someone needs to kill that guy behind me who kept clapping every ten minutes.”
Good luck in the comments, although I must say, I doubt anyone will get all of them correct. There are some tricky ones in there.