By the way, that title above is not sarcasm. I should really talk more about books on this blog than I already do. My book-related posts get twelve BILLION more views than my non-book-related posts. Coincidence? Maybe.
I first saw this on Musings From Neville’s Navel, and thought, “I should do a post about this.” I then proceeded to completely forget about that decision until I stumbled across A Mirror Made of Words, and now I’m writing this as fast as I can so I don’t forget about it later.
Fixes damaged objects
A book that needs some serious fixing: The Fifth Wave, by Rick Yancey. This book switched between a total of four point of view characters, and I thought only two of them were necessary. One of them actively ruined my enjoyment of another character’s POV just by existing. Also, the obnoxious romantic subplot was obnoxious, and Ben Parish could use some flaws besides being “too caring.”
Creates a narrow beam of light
A book that deserves more attention: The Underland Chronicles, by Suzanne Collins. Second best children’s series I’ve ever read, and the final book was particularly amazing.
Counters the effects of Lumos
An overhyped book: Would I get attacked if I said The Lord of the Rings? Admittedly, I read the book a long time ago, and it wasn’t until I was about 65% through The Fellowship of the Ring that I finally got hooked into the story. And even still, the descriptions were way too much. While I loved the next two books, but no book should take over two hundred pages to get a reader invested in the story, and I don’t want Tolkien to get away with it.
I plan to read TLotR again some day, and I’ll probably enjoy it much more than I did the first time.
Summons an object from a significant distance
A book you’re anticipating: George R. R. Martin’s The Winds of Winter. It doesn’t seem to be coming out any time soon, but I’d rather have him take his time than write a rushed novel with plot holes and inconsistencies. As long as he doesn’t die first, I’ll be fine.
Opens unlocked doors, unless bewitched
A book you want to be more open about: I guess I’d pick Escape from Camp 14: One Man’s Remarkable Odyssey from North Korea to Freedom in the West, not because I feel uncomfortable about it, but because more people should be aware that there are concentration camps in North Korea where people are forced to live in Holocaust-esque conditions, and no one is doing anything about it. (I don’t think I answered this question correctly.)
Conjures an incarnation of positive feelings.
A book that made you cry, or at least want to: The Book Thief. I love how the summary of this book and movie trailer makes it sound like a happy story of a girl learning to read in Nazi Germany. And then you read it and realize that this is a tragedy you’re reading, and the summary lied to you, that manipulative bastard.
Conjures the Dark Mark
A book you wish to mark as one of your favorites: I can’t say The Book Thief? I guess I’ll go with To Kill a Mockingbird, because it proves that classics can be both thought-provoking and fun to read.
A book you wish to keep forever: Paper Towns, because I love that book for reasons I myself am not even sure of.
Used against a boggart
A book with a deceiving synopsis: Bridge to Terabithia. I thought it was a fantasy novel about two kids discovering a secret fantasy world and having a bunch of fun adventures. It turned out to be a contemporary novel with a tragic ending, and it had the same plot as a certain John Green novel, but for kids! Not that I blame it for having the same plot as the JG novel, because that novel (not naming it!) came out years later.
A book you wish to burn out of your mind completely: John Green’s Paper Towns, so I can experience it again without any idea of how much I’d end up liking it.
A book you wish to reread: Stephen King’s The Shining.
Causes instant death
Worst book EVER: The Scarlet Letter. Burn in hell, Hawthorne, or at least get a better editor.
Puts victim in an unconscious state
A book with a chapter you couldn’t seem to get over: The Purple Wedding in Storm of Swords. Joffrey was such a great king, he didn’t deserve to die… *cries*
Causes befuddlement or forgetfulness
A book that generally confused you: The Gunslinger, by Stephen King. I loved this book (#lifechanging) but the transitions between scenes were sometimes confusing, and I couldn’t go a paragraph without bumping into a really long word I’ve never heard of.
Inflicts unbearable pain
A book that was a pain to read: A Storm of Swords, by George R. R. Martin, in the best way possible. This was a cruel, mean book. Even more so than its predecessors, considering all the hell he put his characters through. There were characters that you just wanted to stab repeatedly in inappropriate areas, who never seemed to get any comeuppance. That is, until the last third of the book or so, that is, when Martin decided to finally give the good guys a break.
I should also mention that A Storm of Swords is the my favorite fantasy novel I’ve read so far. Over a thousand pages long and not a single paragraph was dull.
Heals relatively minor injuries
A feel good book that you enjoyed: An Abundance of Katherines. Despite my complaints about it, I still thought it was a fun book to read, and it had a mostly uplifting ending. Though to be honest, I would’ve picked Paper Towns already but I’ve already mentioned that a bunch of times.
Impedes target’s progress
A book that kept you up all night reading: The Hunger Games, and Gregor and the Code of Claw. Suzanne Collins is just really good at writing suspenseful novels.
A book that left you speechless after you read it: The Running Man, because there was a twist near the end that I certainly did not see coming. I think I actually gasped, which is not something I usually do. Ever.
Allows you to delve into someone’s mind
A book with well-developed characters: A Song of Ice and Fire. With the exception of some in AFfC, every single POV character has felt like a real person. There are very few characters that have matched the complexity of Tyrion Lannister, a very, very flawed man who I just can’t help but root for.
A spell that turns you upside down
A book that changed your mind about a character from its prequel: My opinion of Severus Snape changed completely in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. In just one chapter, Snape went from a character I detested to one of my favorite characters in the whole series.
Used to hide memories
A book with a story you can’t remember: Junie B. Jones (the whole series). I remember loving these books as a kid, but I don’t remember anything about them now. The only thing I remember is when Crybaby Will ended up being amazing at pull-ups in the field day one.
A boring book that had absolutely no effect on you: The Scarlet Letter. I don’t even remember what the book was about, but I do remember thinking “wow, Hawthorne uses a lot of commas.”
Breaks through solid objects
A book that convinced you to reconsider a certain genre: The Walking Dead: Volume 1: Days Gone By. This book reminded me that comic books exist. I was never the type of guy to be all “Oh, I don’t read comics. They’re too juvenile.” (That was an actual quote from someone in my school, believe it or not.) But I was never really into them either. UNTIL NOW.
A book that made you laugh: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Need I explain why?
Offensive spell that violently wounds the target
A book that may have scarred you for life: The Stand (Unabridged Version), by Stephen King. I read this when I was eleven, going on twelve. And there were some scenes here definitely not appropriate for someone my age.
That being said, I’d still gladly give this book to an eleven year old, because I’m a terrible person.
Makes you dance uncontrollably
A series finale that made you feel giddy: The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang. Wait, I can’t talk about TV shows? Well, then. I guess it’ll have to be the final Chronicles of Narnia book. The seventh novel was the most exciting, in my opinion, even if the whole Christian metaphors were a bit heavy handed.
Causes an explosion that breaks through obstacles
A book that made you explode with feels: I am the Messenger. The first 90% of this book was amazing, almost rivaling The Book Thief. The last ten percent? Not so much.
Nullifies other spells
A book you thought you’d dislike but ended up loving: A Feast for Crows, by George R. R. Martin. I’ve heard a lot of complaints about how the book was so boring and that nothing happens, which wasn’t true. I didn’t exactly love it, but it was much better than I expected it to be.
To end this post: I will ask if any of the readers here are planning to do Camp NaNoWriMo next month. If your answer is yes and you would like to be cabin mates (because who wouldn’t?) please comment with your username.
Also, if anyone has a Words with Friends account, please play a game with “mbswizzle42.” Warning: I tend to gloat when I’m winning.