Yes, I did write a post like this in the past before. This one, however, is way better. Why? Because it’s much more unique. (And it’s edgy!)
Note: the following takes place between 6:30 AM to 3:00 AM, from last Friday morning to very late Saturday night. It’s not the perfect example of my life, but it does provide a picture of it on Fridays, which is probably one of my more consistently busy days.)
6:30 AM: The alarm clock on my phone goes off. “Fuck off, phone,” I say, but the phone doesn’t listen. So I have to walk over to it (it’s on the other side of my room, for some reason), and turn it off. Then I go back to sleep.
6:40 AM: My back-up alarm goes off, and I begrudgingly get up. It’s still dark outside, and that bugs me. I take a shower and get dressed and all that. No time for breakfast, so I eat my lunch on the way to school.
7:05 AM: First period starts in twelve minutes, and I’m backed up in traffic. I realize that I am completely out of gas, because my brother apparently doesn’t like to buy gas for the car that he uses 80% of the time. I decide to take my chances and buy gas after school instead of getting it now.
7:17 AM: First period starts, and yet I am still stuck in a very long line leading to my school. I listen to Elvis Durant and the Morning Show, and wonder just how the hell they’re all so happy in the morning. “Stop being happy,” I say to the radio. No one responds.
7:25 AM: Students are only allowed to park in the very back of the parking lot, and they’re only allowed to enter the school from the front entrance, which means I have to go through a good five minute walk during wintertime in New York. I may sound very bitter right now, but that’s only because I am, in fact, very bitter about this particular situation.
7:30 AM: I make it to my Participation in Government class thirteen minutes late, and my teacher is 100% cool with it. Seriously, I have the chillest teacher ever. I’m rocking a 95 in that class even though I barely show up.
8:05 AM: A double period for Environmental Science, which is a pretty nice class, all things considered. We took notes for a period, and then we watched a documentary on coral reefs, which was quite possibly my favorite documentary ever, if only for the needlessly-intense background music and the creepiness and/or cuteness of all the organisms shown.
9:45 AM: Technically a study hall, but it’s really a lunch. I used to not be a fan of lunch in general, because I never really used to have anyone to sit with. And by that I mean, none of my good friends ever seemed to have lunch that period, and those that did seemed to be surrounded by people I didn’t know. Not this year, though. There are multiple groups of people in my lunch with whom I could sit with and not feel the least bit uncomfortable.
I try to study for calculus this period, but this turns out to be sorta hard. AP Calculus is quite possibly my least favorite class ever, by the way. Every time we start a new chapter, I think, “Oh, this isn’t too hard. I think I’ve got this.” And then things just escalate so quickly, to the point where I’m beginning to wonder if the teacher is making this shit up just to mess with us.
10:35 AM: AP Literature. This class is fun whenever we do creative writing. The problem is, that never happens. It’s just analyzing poetry, which is tough to do unless I’ve gotten a full-night’s sleep. Hell, even if I am wide awake, all it takes is some archaic poetry to send me straight to Snooze City, Indiana.
11:24 AM: AP Calculus: I spend the majority of this class looking at the clock and wondering, is it over yet? Please let it be over.
12:06 PM: Calculus is my last period of the day, which means I get to go home two periods early. I leave the school, purposely cutting my friend off on the way out of the parking lot, and make my way to the nearest gas station. (Gas is 2 bucks a gallon now, so suck it, people from 2009.)
12:15 PM: I go to a nearby deli for a turkey and cheese sandwich with lettuce and tomato. I devour it with the ferocity of a starved lion feasting on a gazelle.
12:25 PM: I’m back home. I put my McDonald’s uniform in the dryer, and then take a nap.
3:45 PM: I wake up from my long nap, and check the mail for any college letters. There are none. “Thanks a lot,” I say to the mailbox. The mailbox doesn’t respond.
4:00 PM: I get ready for work. (4:30-11:00.) I check the weather, in the hopes of some sort of rain or snow or tsunami, because whenever the weather’s bad, business is slow. Unfortunately the weather is pretty much perfect today, minus the cold, so I can expect a relatively normal Friday at work. As in, very busy.
4:30 PM: A six and a half hour shift goes by, and nothing particularly note-worthy happens. I’m in the back booth, taking orders and cleaning trays the whole time. There’s a homeless guy on a bicycle who rides up to the window every day, picks up all the dropped change on the ground, and rides away. He always just sort of sneaks up on me, and I’m not a fan.
Also, my boss told me I wasn’t allowed to wear my jacket when doing the drive-thru, but I put it on anyway. (#badass)
11:00 PM: I snag a hash brown, and a large cup of water, and then stop by the ATM before going home.
Why am I stopping by the ATM, you ask? Because it’s poker night, bitches.
11:20 PM: My Bad Influence Friends and my brother are in my basement already, and a three-to-four hour game of Texas Hold’em Poker begin. There may be a break at some point to, um, eat a sandwich, though that depends on how many people show up, and/or if my parents are still awake. Only five playing today, so it totally happened.
(Should I be admitting to this? You’d think after my last post that I’d be more careful.)
2:00 AM: I inevitably lose the poker match. I always go all-in on a flush, and the other person will inexplicably manage to have a full house, every single time. It’s infuriating.
2:15 AM: I play Call of Duty, still in the basement, as the poker game wraps up as it always does: with the two winners splitting the pot.
2:30 AM: The fridge is raided. There are no survivors.
2:45 AM: Either everyone goes home, or they sleep over my house. This time the latter happens, which resulted in us watching Amy Schumer HBO stand-up special. Amy Schmuer, by the way, is significantly funnier when your parents aren’t in the room with you.
3:00 AM: “The night is the hardest time to be alive and 4am knows all my secrets.”—Poppy Z. Brite.
Luckily I went to bed an hour early, so my secrets are safe.